Credit: Cole Of Joe Thunder's Facebook page

Opening Match: (C) The Ascension vs Corey Graves and Adrian Neville for the Tag Titles

2 title matches on one card? I'm down. Picking Ascension to retain.

The Ascension retain when Neville takes the high-low. Good match, focusing on the fact that neither man was 100%. After the match, Graves beats the hell out of Neville. Side note: with the exception of Regal, the announcers suck the sexual organ located in the lower abdominal area.

Match 2: Tyler Breeze vs CJ Parker

I don't know what to say about this, because I think they both suck. Parker has wacky dreds.

Breeze defeats Parker with a heel kick. Jesus, this was bad. Neither man should be on TV, especially with Ohno on the roster. Directed towards idiot announcer: a "selfie" is a picture of YOURSELF, NOT YOUR OPPONENT.

Match 3: Paige and Emma vs Summer Rae and Sasha Banks

*sigh* Divas matches. Useless waste of airtime. Sign MsChif and I might care.

Summer and Sasha win when Summer pins Paige. Freakin. Train. Wreck. Kindly go die, ladies.

Main Event: (C) Bo Dallas vs Sami Zayn for the NXT Championship

If there's a god, Zayn will end Dallas' reign of craptasticness. Now I'm making up words Ole! chants from the crowd. Go Zayn.

Zayn defeats Dallas to... wait, JBL is coming out. The match is restarted because Dallas had his foot on the rope. Dallas retains after smacking Zayn's head off a turnbuckle and rolling him up. Cheating arsehole. Match was surprisingly good on both ends, unusual cause Bo blows.

Final thoughts: Very watchable main event. The rest was mediocre in my opinion.

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