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Sasha Banks (w/Summer Rae) pinned Emma
We kick things off with the love of my life going one on one with the best dancer in WWE. Mentioned frequently throughout this match is Emma is the #1 Contender for the Woman's Title and is putting off her title match until she can take care of the BFF's. The match is two minutes old when I realize...Tensai is in the booth this week, working with Tom Phillips and Alex Riley. There's not much to write about this match, the most notable things about it was it somehow went two segments and Emma has a plethora of merchandise including, and I quote, notebooks and flame throwers.
I can only imagine what an Emma flamethrower would be like. Sasha had a giant flurry of punches, which led to Emma making her comeback with the Dil-Emma. She went for the Emma Lock when Summer Rae hopped onto the apron. Paige ran down to pull Summer off and the distraction was enough for Sasha to pick up the win with a small package. After the match, Paige went to attack Sasha, but Sasha ducked and Paige laid out Emma!
Last week, Bo Dallas and his goofy smile denied there was controversy during his title match with Sami Zayn. He made a huge announcement to his Bo-lievers that he is taking a vacation to go on a Bo Dallas vs The World tour where he, among other things, would bring 10,000 squirt guns to the starving children of Bo-livia.
How can you not love this man?
After the commercial break, Corey Graves is standing on the ramp wearing a suit. From a distance it looked like Alex Riley. Anyhoo, Graves spent 30 seconds teasing that he would mention why he did what he did to Adrian Neville last week until Adrian got tired of waiting and attacked Graves. Two referees tried to break it up as Neville kicked Graves's ass, so four more refs ran down to make the save.
NXT Tag Team Champions The Ascension defeated Casey Maron and Tommy Taylor
The jobbers get names this week. The only way to telegraph Casey Maron and Tommy Taylor's loss more would be for them to wear an 80's inspired Jobber Jacket. The fans are behind the losers as they chant “Let's Go These Guys”. Tommy Taylor doesn't even get into the match as The Ascension quickly downed Casey Maron (not to be confused with former pro golfer Casey Martin) with Total Elimination, which apparently is called The Fall Of Man.
Last week, Sami Zayn was leaving when a cameraman asked him about losing last week. Sami complained about JBL not restarting the match when Bo slammed his head into an exposed turnbuckle Zayn made mention that like Daniel Bryan, perhaps he isn't the Chosen One and Triple H may have something to do with this.
Back to this week where Renee Young is interviewing JBL, which was obviously done at a SmackDown taping. JBL says Sami is a whiner and that he is here to do what is best for business. He announces that Sami will not be back until he apologizes for crying about a conspiracy theory. Bradshaw finishes by telling Renee to find a new shirt.
Alexander Rusev submitted CJ Parker
CJ Parker still has Tyler Breeze's cell phone. I could swear Breeze stole it back last week. Alexander Rusev is all by himself this week, as Sylvester Lefort and Scott Dawson are not here...nor is the board that Rusev would smash over his head. They must really be cutting costs this week. Rusev just destroyed Parker. This was a total squash match and Rusev won with a Camel Clutch. Towards the end, Some Blonde Woman went to the ring, walked around the ring with a smile on her face before leaving.
During the commercial break, Tyler Breeze ran down, knocked out Parker, cut some of his dreadlocks off and took back his cell phone.
Corey Graves submitted Adrian Neville
Main Event time as the last Tag Team Champions go one on one. Not mentioned is why they became a team. Way back when they were already on opposing sides. Graves teamed with Kassius Ohno while Neville teamed with Oliver Grey. Well Grey got injured and Ohno needed to clean up, so they were both laid out by The Family and their respective partners teamed up and became champions.
Man the history of the NXT Tag Titles is wacky, huh? Neville won the titles with Grey, Grey got injured so after like 7 weeks of being a solo Tag Champion he named Bo Dallas a co-champion...and they promptly lose the titles in their first match against The Family. Riley describes Graves as a “villainous, cool, villainous man”, which is almost as good as Phillips mentioning that he isn't really a tattooed up, grungy guy. Yes, when I see Graves it is obvious you cannot describe him as tattooed or grungy.
Graves worked on the knee of Neville, which in theory would both set up Lucky 13 and hinder Neville from being able to jump around with ease. Of course as I write that, Graves gets a 1-count with a punch to the head. Graves slaps on what basically amounts to a standing Figure Four, but Neville somehow got out of it. Riley said that, despite not being grungy or tattooed up, Graves goes out clubbing, while Neville sits at home. Anyway, Neville goes up top, lands on his feet, hurting his knee, so Graves won with Lucky 13.
After the match, Graves attacks Neville on the ramp and slaps Lucky 13 back on. Not sure why we aren't getting a reverse decision. The fans were so into this that they chanted “Alex Riley”. They only chant that because they don't have to hear his commentary every other week.
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